People will always let you down.

(Not sure if I've written about this before. I almost think I have and was thinking I shouldn't at the risk of sounding too cynical. It's been sitting heavy again though, like I need to articulate it again for myself and set it back into the groove.)
PEOPLE will ALWAYS let you down!
What would you think about a mother asserting this to her daughter if you overheard them together?
Would you think this mother was being cruel, not giving her child any hope in humanity, not encouraging her to keep positive despite having difficulty with her friends. Then you hear the mother reminding her of the times they have let each other down, how she can't trust her daughter because there's a history of disobedience and anger that her daughter can't get control of. The mother confesses to not listening and caring enough. 'We've both let each other down...a LOT!'
I'm that mom. This is a conversation I have regularly with my daughter.
There IS a level of trust we share with our family but there are times when even they might come short of your expectations. I make sure that I tell her about how even though we let each other down we are still capable of loving each other because of God's example. We don't deserve God's love, often...and HE still loves us. We should find it easier to love each other than God does because we are both sinners. We just don't love as perfectly as He does.
The point I try to get to with her is that only GOD deserves that pedestal in our lives. The pedestal of trust. The only one we can truly trust to meet our needs, to understand our fears, to know the longings of our heart FULLY. No one else will ever do that for us completely.
In Fact...No One should have to. That is too much responsibility on any given person. Why would I expect that anyone should know me that much and care for me that much?
I hope to offer freedom with this way of thinking. Freedom from unnecessary pain and disappointment. In fact, truly embracing this way of thinking has made my relationships with others more pleasing and hopeful.
When I EXPECT the worst from people, when I believe they will always let me down, that leaves me open to be surprised by their kindness and care. I am free to be proud of my children's obedience and willingness to make good choices. I am thoroughly impressed and grateful when they surprise me with acts of kindness towards each other and extend it to others as well.
I know. I sound like such a CYNIC! Truly. I sometimes worry I'm going to scar them. Jaded mother I am.
I don't feel jaded. I feel liberated.
Liberated from selfishness.
Honestly, I sometimes get whiney. Wishing I was surrounded by friends and family who would just know when I needed some time out for coffee, or when I feel lonely, or when I am sad, stressed, lonely, frustrated. I really don't have anyone close. Whaa. Whaa. Whaa. and a Boo Hoo.
Selfish. The Lord knows. The Lord hears.
He will never let me down.


1 comments:

Karin April 16, 2012 at 7:30 AM  

You are absolutely right! People will always let us down and we let people down. It's life - it happens - not necessarily intentional! You are very wise to learn this much earlier in life than I did. This is being realistic and as you say 'freeing' us to love people without unrealistic expectations. Only Christ deserves that place of honor, to be high and lifted up! We love, respect and appreciate our family and friends and are even called to love our enemies. So glad that our heavenly Father will never leave us or forsake us or let us down!

We miss you so much! It would be lovely to just stop and go for coffee! So glad that even if it can't be face to face, we can chat on facebook or on the phone! Love you!

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